Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
