So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
