i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
they need to just BURY HIM!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
