So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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