dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
