So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
