Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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