drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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