First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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