I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
