I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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