I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
