Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
