Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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