So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
