He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
