ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
