go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
