Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
