i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
