We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
