Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
