I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
