some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
