glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
