I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
