i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize