Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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