In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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