6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
