There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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