Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
