i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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