carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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