I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
