how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
