What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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