you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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