last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
