thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
