hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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