Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
