I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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