We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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