so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
