I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize