it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
