I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
