I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
