we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
