Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
