ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
