I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
