Im at strip club and am horny
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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