yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Acid is not a monday night drug
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
