The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I want to have your abortion
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
