im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
well you can't waste a boner
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
