so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you traded sex for a burrito?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
