quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
