I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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