Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
