Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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