omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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