talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
