Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize