we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
