Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize