If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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